Last Summer

February 8, 2009
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As I lay in my bed, I miss the days we spent here together
Sometimes I sit on my front porch and remember the countless nights spent there;
I remember every kiss, all the nonsense that was spoke here
I remember our hands intertwined,
never wanting to say goodbye or let go

I hate that we said forever,
no matter what;
And that it's become that we never even speak to one another

I remember the calls where you'd fall asleep,
I'd stay on the line until I fell asleep to the sound of your breathing,
some nights, it was the only way for me to find sleep at all
(When things were over between us,
I laid awake during many restless nights,
wishing I had the sound of your slow, even breathing, to guide me to sleep)

I miss spring days that felt like winter
The ones where I would act colder than I was,
Just so you'd hold me a little closer,
just a bit tighter;
it made me feel safe

I recall the days where we were the only people in the world
No one else matter,
they were irrelevant to us
Anything and everything we were thinking,
only pertained to you and I
When we shut the rest of the world out

I remember getting lost in your eyes,
In the sun, they would turn an amber color like I'd never seen

I hate the dreams were pieces come and go of what we had;
I love seeing your smile,
but hate waking to find that it was only a dream

I hate hearing the numerous lyrics that make me fight tears,
and the urge to be in your arms again

When I sit in the bottom of the slides in the park,
I permit my gaze to wander towards the swing were we sat,
I remember us there,
happy just to be in one another's company,
& I smile at the remembrance

I remember my heart breaking for the very first time;
trying to keep my emotions under control about our relationship diminishing,
right before our junior high graduation,
the one feeling that never seems to fade,
if it only grows stronger every time it's revisited

When I walk into the old basketball gym
Every memory flash through my mind,
I remember every morning sitting together,
the stupid fight we had there,
what you looked like on graduation;
trying to keep an unreadable expression when you came to talk to me,
I didn't want you to know how much I missed, despite you being right next to me

I can still remember the way you made me feel
With just a single look,
no words at all
No one's ever made me feel that way, except you

I hate thinking of you all the time,
For the reason that I know the way I wish things were,
will never be a reality,
just a figment of my imagination

Some days what feels like a lifetime ago,
I remember it as if it happened yesterday

I'll never quite understand what happened last summer,
What made everything between us so difficult and hard to face,
Some days I want to go back,
go back, and fight,
Fight till it was the last thing I did
Because even now,
I still believe you're worth the fight

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claire W. said...
Feb. 21, 2009 at 7:20 pm
this is amazing.
thats all i can actually say.
i sat staring at the screen wishing i new love like you.
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