February 8, 2009
By Keegan GOLD, Flushing, Michigan
Keegan GOLD, Flushing, Michigan
15 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Today I heard a whisper,
Today I heard a lie.
Today I saw a dead man shiver,
Without any alibi.

Today I see the stars,
Promising in their solemnity.
Than I look to fiery mars,
And see a lack of my own dignity.

Today I feel pain,
I feel rage to no right.
Today I feel I have worked for no gain,
I feel consumed in my own spite.

So I swallow them again and close my eyes,
I let my mind wander to the skies.
My head begins to ring like a drum,
And I pray that tomorrow I will be numb.

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This article has 2 comments.

on Feb. 21 2009 at 7:40 pm
claire walsh BRONZE, Cheltenham, Other
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments
i love this.

it at some points is confusing but i think that adds to its beauty.

and yes some of the ryhm seems forced but i think it shows that its an awkward subject. im sure some people will disagree with the negative bits actually being good but they are to me... i love it.

on Feb. 21 2009 at 5:21 pm
xhelloxlovex14 BRONZE, Westwood, New Jersey
3 articles 0 photos 9 comments
Your last stanza has a different rhyme scheme... I like what you have to say, I'm not a huge fan of how you said it. Some rhymes felt very forced... there were too many words/ syllables, which interupted the flow. But I liked it, a lot actually.

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