Worth the Reward

February 2, 2009
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As the bell rings I gather up all my pens and books not bothering to look and see if I left anything because its not important
the only thing on my mind is that I need to see you before you dissapear
your moccasins thwap-thwaping down the hall, annoucing your arrival when I finally catch up to you my heart swells, growing two sizes too big
I strike up a conversation hoping you will answer
On those lucky days you might laugh at my jokes sometimes you'd discuss your hopes and dreams with me I felt privaleged when you did it felt like I had been allowed into a secret society a special place in your heart where no one could hurt you
I'd never hurt you
When you would push my bookbag and talk in the silly voice or hold the door open and bow like a footman to a princess I would be swept away in a fairy-tale world my only company, you but that was okay because that was all I need to get by
Then reality washes over me and I realize you're waiting for me to go into class. Throughout the next hour I would sit there looking at the back of your head, hating, just hating you for making me stoop so low to be begging
like a small puppy would beg for scraps of food. Thats what I'd be begging for: scraps of your time, scraps of your heart, scraps of you
Then as soon as these feelings come, they vanish and I realize that it was all worth the precious reward-your charming simle that you show so rarely
only for those special people who I one day I hope to be

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