I Cheated

January 27, 2009
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I feel guilty
Because I've left my paper and pen
To their own devices for a while
They're probably developing issues about it by now.

But please, let me explain
It's not that I don't love them
It's just that I've been experimenting with various others
Paintbrushes and canvases, video cameras, instruments
I know how it sounds, but I needed something new

I tried to make it work for a long time
And the time away has made me realize how much I miss you,
Pen and paper
Really it has
And I don't want to lose you
It's just that certain factors haven't been cooperating

Like my mind,
I don't know what its deal is
But it just doesn't feel like giving out ideas
The way it used to
I've had nothing to say,
No rhymes, no clever word play
and I didn't want to try to fix something that was not yet broken
for fear of breaking it

I feel you slowly slipping away
And I'm trying to hold on
I'll confess that's why I wrote this
As a final attempt to hold you close

I enjoy your presence as much as I ever did
I still feel the comfort from your white surface
And the warmth as my fingers gently surround the smooth
rounded face of the pen
I want to go back to how things used to be

Although my time with the others was great
Nothing feels quite like home the way you do,
Paper and pen,
I'm hoping you'll forgive me
And we can start anew.

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