January 30, 2009
She denied everything
Even the thoughts that meant the most
She knew she loved him
At least she thought she did
She never felt this way about a person
She knew that first hand
There was something about him that kept her sucked in
Like a drug
She didn't want to resist
But did anyway
Leaving her open for other medications
She told herself she didn't need him
Nor didn't want him
But all she did was lie to herself
But she knew she had to resist
Because she couldn't
She supposedly didn't want to be with him
She wanted to leave her options open
For her 'prince charming'
But was it him?
He seemed to knock her off her feet
Make her laugh
Leave her breathless
Do most things other guys wouldn't do
At least to her
He was the only one that saw past her beauty
He saw her inner beauty
Her personality
Just her
Something no else really saw
She swore to him up and down
That they really should get over each other
That there was no point in falling in love
When they were only falling apart
She told him this more than once
Basically she drove away the one thing
She was too stupid to see
That she was falling in love with
She gave up to quickly
At least that's what it seemed like
She never realized
Until now
How much you actually miss something
When it's gone
She still had those mixed feelings of how she wanted him
And then suddenly didn't
She was still confused about it
She followed her favorite quote
To get her by
To help her
Even though it really didn't
It showed her the truth
'Smile so the tears won't fall
Laugh like you don't hurt at all
Fake so hell never know
Of how you still haven't let him go'
And that exactly what she did
And still does.

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