Waiting for my Escape

January 20, 2009
By Ivy Davis, Ephrata, PA

I hate my feelings,
I loath them.
They tell me what I need to know,
But I don’t want to know.
Like the place I’m heading in my life,
I’ve been here before,
In this hollow, suffocating abyss.
I told myself I wouldn’t go back.
But I know where I’m heading
Just like I know I can’t stop it.
Is there someone out there?
Someone I can talk to without judgment,
Who will tell me it’s going to be ok.
Wait, there was…
Once
He’s gone now
He slipped from my grasp
Then again I expected no less.
When I get something amazing it ends the same,
I mess something up
Then watch as it goes,
Like a witness of a car accident.
It always leaves me cold and alone.
With no hope left,
Wishing for an end,
An easy escape,
But I’m tired of crying wolf.
Everyone knows I’ll never pull the trigger.
So I will sit here and wait,
For my life to slowly pass me by,
One fake smile after another.
One fake friend after another,
One fake hope after another.
I’ll pray for you,
While waiting for my escape.

The author's comments:
I wrote this a while back when I was really upset about the loss of a great friend. When I wrote it I thought I could never feel happy again. Its been a long time and I am very happy to be alive. I decided to post this because I know there are a lot of teenagers who feel this way. Who think it would be easier to just end it themselves. It wont be. Live your life, and love your life for all it is. Dont look to the negative. Find those small beautiful moments to carry you through, and before you know it you will be beyond that hard place. Trust me, "There's nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive."

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This article has 2 comments.


palcsceo said...
on Feb. 23 2009 at 3:25 am
Ivy,

Thanks for your poem. Thanks as well for your author's comments. May they inspire others to "find those small beautiful moments."

EmiKitty said...
on Feb. 2 2009 at 1:26 am
OMG IVY!

Thats beautiful.

Very good. ^__^

Great job putting your feelings to paper.


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