Advice Boy

January 16, 2009
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I'm watching him sleeping, until he opens his eyes.
He’s saying, “Imagine me there by your side.”
His feelings are molded, rusted; he’s ready to die.
I'm begging, “Don’t go! I'm in deep need of your advice!”
He says, “When it’s cold outside, close your window…
There’s no need to cry when I'm not here.”
He says, “I'm going to keep you. I'm your keeper.”
I say, “I want so desperately to disappear.”
I'm watching him sleeping, seemingly worthless.
Sometimes I am wishing- I could get away.
His feelings are stained with blackness and weakness.
I'm begging, “Don’t go!” He says, “I wish I could stay.”
He says, “When it’s warm outside, open your window.
I can’t believe I'm fading away.
I am your keeper, so be my keeper.”
He says, “Please don’t leave!” I say, “No how, no way!”
His eyesight went blurry. His brown eyes went cold.
His breathing got heavy and then it just slowed
His hands started quivering and then he closed his eyes.
I softly kissed his cheek and with tears said goodbye.
I'm watching him sleeping, eternally happy.
I still can’t believe I had the strength to watch him go.
I whispered, “I love you.” He couldn’t return it.
So whether or not he loved me, I guess I’ll never know.

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