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Special

May 8, 2015
By LotusChild PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
LotusChild PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
32 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let them hate, so long as they fear me" ~Colligula


Strokes on the canvas, red colors spread thin
So nervous, so anxious, I can't hold it in
Ten tons of TNT in titanic proportions
Ready to explode, enter self-extortion
It's more than just a way to watch the paint dry
Like the desert, it cracks and earth becomes sky
A fine line creeps along on the page, a black vine
That rips through the paint as it engorges and tears my design
And so it came forth, I, exemplary in skill,
Become the only to use this organic fill
The sorrow, the pain bring forth a new will
I step forth from the darkness, my old shell lay still
I am a new breed, a new seed, a blood artist
Painting with the blood that flows from the wrist
Because the tears are the brush strokes
Blue turns red, I can see the blood soak
Seeping ever deeper to the steeper
Brush sweeps of the creative creeper

Not but a man, left alone in the darkness
Left to his own devices, a new mess
He's not better, he's not better, he's not better
He's the world's sins, trapped and fettered
He lives in the words, lives in the letters
A new way that makes him a trendsetter
Of a trend that doesn't catch on
Of a friend that doesn't stay long
No one ever asks if the shield is okay,
Once they're safe, they throw the shield away
Watch it degrade and rot in the rubble
Nothing more than dust, not so subtle
He lies where the walls bare the crimson paint
Where he would let go of his self-restraint
And the world didn’t know he was there
Come to realize that the world didn't care

I wish to stay, to be here forever
To watch the world grow and endeavour
To be what it strives to be, me
The greatest to ever open my eyes and see
Everything as it truly is, painting the contrast
With a medium that will keep unsurpassed
My life, my pain, my morosity rendered
I will now and forever be remembered
As the man, no the star that brought forth the forms
In the shades that all the people would adore
With this achievement I render everyone lesser
Kill me now and watch me live forever


Struck down
Shut down
Where has everyone gone?
I look around, it’s dawn
and yet the world seems withdrawn
The eyes left, they fear me
The ears left dont hear me
for I’m alone though they’re near me
But this can’t be!
I was the one, the truth bringer
The seer, the bell ringer
I was to become history
And yet no one here notices me

It's only gold if they want what I have
Otherwise it's value is cut in half and in half
Until what I have is what I started with
An idea that started as nothing more than myth
A halfwit with a two bit trick to stick to the sick
Sick people that think they're slick
But they aren't, they're just the majority
And if they don't want it, I’m the minority
Not even close to priority,

And what I’m left with is the hardest part,
I wasn't anything special from the start.


The author's comments:

This one is to counter-ballance Divinity, a more emotional poem inspired by how I feel as an artist.


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This article has 3 comments.


Beila BRONZE said...
on May. 18 2015 at 3:54 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

Boom- that's it. This feels revised. What I love about your work that makes your poetry stand out from the profusion of mediocre writing on this site is that it reads like you slit a seam in your heart, and I'm standing in the downpour of everything cascading out. When you lose that, you lose you. This poem lost *you*.

on May. 18 2015 at 10:17 am
LotusChild PLATINUM, Raleigh, North Carolina
32 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let them hate, so long as they fear me" ~Colligula

I'm trying to explore other bits of my sorrow, as most of my work comes from heartbreak, I thought perhaps other parts of my life could hide gems, poetic potential yet untapped. I get what you mean, this poem underwent A LOT of revisions, this was... The best? I guess I just need a bit more practice with wording when it comes to topics that I haven't practiced. Though I prefer that you comment on as many of my works as you care to, as with each piece I begin to better understand why each of my other works is as compelling as it is. Thanks ^-^

Beila BRONZE said...
on May. 17 2015 at 10:58 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

.... I don't really know what to say. There's nothing specifically in this poem I don't like, but... it's way under-whelming for me. :( I don't know; something about the flow is a little off to me, and sometimes the rhyme feels (dare I say it?) forced! I've never seen that before in your work. I actually love the shield metaphor you have in the middle. That's incredible! I just wish the rest of the poem was as brilliantly beautiful as that and the rest of your writing. I'm sure it's a matter of taste, and I wasn't sure if it was worth commenting, but since you've mentioned before that you place some value on my opinion... here it is. Let me know, though, if you'd rather I just skip any pieces that don't really speak to me in the future. It's probably just because you've created such high expectations in my head.