Run Away From You

January 13, 2009
You don’t want me anymore
I remind myself this everyday

It makes me stronger
My heart becomes tough
Mending the breaks
Healing my wounds

I get stronger as I run
Pumping my arms
Pumping blood through my veins
Pounding anger out the souls of my feet
My heart begins to find strength again
And I begin to sprint

A sweet relief

Each day I run, it gets easier
I tell myself that
Each day I run
I will get over you
That much more

But hearts get tired
They become weak
The bondages
They break
Every little piece lays there on the street
Like sticks and stones and broken bones
Letting that old tar soak it in

Because at times my heart becomes so vulnerable
All that I can do is slow down
I look around at the beautiful disaster
And take a seat at the very first place you said I love you
No, no, not to your mom
Not to your dad
But to me

When I run
I get weak sometimes
So I sit there
I sit on the bench where you held me
Where you told me you loved me
And I tell myself
He doesn’t want me anymore
As many times as it takes
Until I am strong enough to stand again
Until all of my blisters, sore muscles, and wounds
Begin to feel okay

I remind myself
He doesn’t want me anymore
I stand again

No, I am not healed
But I am healing

I begin to run again
Hoping that in the next step, I won’t break
That I won’t fall
That each day
My lungs can take a little more of the bitter, cold air

I am hoping that as running will get easier
So will getting over you

Life is so bittersweet sometimes

I run to become stronger
Sometimes it hurts like hell
It will never be easy
I will always get short of breath, eventually

Some wounds never heal
Most scars never go away
But over time, hills, and miles
I will be okay
I will feel great
And I will be over you

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