I do. I don't

January 13, 2009
By Allison Pohle, Solon, OH

The clock ticks 5:00 and I pound my head against the desk
A five year anniversary spent enclosed in drab office walls
On account of life getting in the way and too much work to be done
10 more minutes.
I’m sorry.

The clock ticks 5:00 as I roll over and groan as my hand hits the nightstand
A five year anniversary spent encompassed in a secret lover’s embrace
On account of my own thirst for pleasure that I yearn for in everyday life
10 more minutes.
I’m leaving soon.

5:10 and the pile of papers has almost vanished
An anniversary spent alone until I finish.
5 more minutes.
I’m sorry.

5:10 and the time has flown by too quickly.
A cherry kiss graces my cheek and pleading eyes crave a little more time together
5 more minutes.
I’m leaving soon.

5:15 and I race out of the office, cold against the winter breeze but remember the warm familiar arms I’ll soon fall into
Heart pumping strongly I dream of the future
Kids. A happy life. Til death do us part.
I’m finally home.

5:15 and I know we’ve been too greedy with our time together.
But God makes it so difficult not to pick the apple,
So tempting. Sweet. Satisfying.
I’m leaving soon.

I sit home and wait.
I didn’t mean to be late.
I’m sorry.

I grudgingly get up and pray it won’t be too long until I’m in paradise again.
I leave.

He comes home and my heart flutters, love pouring out from my veins.
And then.

All it took was one second of carelessness.
A faint cherry lipstick stain on my cheek.
I’m sorry.

I’m leaving. Now.

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