The Mind of the OCD

January 13, 2009
The tiles on my floor will never change
They keep the same pattern day after day
Black, white, black, white
My life can be expressed my those tiles
The days of repetitive patterns that I endure my whole life

The dullness of life can overtake me
My wanting for something spectacular to happen
Makes me have impossible dreams
I wish that I could change my life little by little every day
But even how hard I try
My fear of change will surpass me

Because I am afraid of difference
That I feel safe in my repeating occurrences
Therefore a thought of change would bring me to the conclusion
That something would have to go wrong

Why does it have to be perfect?
I ask this question in my daily life
I want to not be so neat
I want to live in a mess
But my mind won’t allow for that

One day I know that I will
Mix up those black, white tiles of my life
I’ll throw in some colors to add variety
I’ll mix them all up so that there will never be a pattern
On that day I will live in my dreams
I will have the life I have always wanted

And I also know that that day will never come

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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

SamiLynn said...
Sept. 1, 2010 at 12:42 am
Amazing and very true. I actually have OCD and I've been forced into change and the change really is much better than the fear. Whether you were using OCD literally or figuratively, both are true.
Memalion said...
Aug. 2, 2010 at 9:34 am
This was excellent! You captured almost exactly what it feels like to be afraid of change. Thank you, and keep writing. 
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