January 7, 2009
By Katie Manzi, Swan Lake, NY

Is that pain in your eyes?
Have you just seen through someone’s lies?
Has somebody put you through pain?
Did you lose to someone else’s gain?
Is that sinister emotion lurking, making you feel insane?

I will not lie, it is my truest wish
I hope you feel the darkest grip
Clutch around your heart and destroy your light
Making you stay up and scream at night

I want you to know I hope you cry
To pay back for all the tears that have fallen from my eyes
I hope your life is breaking and you feel alone
I see it in you, but do you know?
This sadness in your walk;
An aura of despair
Oh how I know it, I was there.

Is your life slipping away?
Is it hard for you to wake up every day?
Do you stare at the world and see nothing?
Do you stare at that knife and think about cutting?
Is that clean and perfect image of yours rusting?

Is your soul no longer singing that happy song?
Do you stand alone in your room and wonder what would happen if you were gone?
Do you look at her and see everything you wish you could be?
But that fact that you are truly worthless is what she makes you see

Does it hurt when you smile
Because your lips have forgotten how?
Does other people’s joy make you want to scream?
Are you realizing the people around you are not what they seam?
Is all you can do is live in the now?
You can’t even look took the future, have you forgotten how?

Do you realize what is happening to you?
Are you fighting it?
Is it working?
Or are you failing to save yourself?
Did you feel fear when you recognized the signs?
Were you angry, were you upset?
I doubt it for you see you can’t feel much of anything anymore
If you are anything like me

A shadow is what I hope you become
A shell of your former self
Here in body but never in mind
Your are controlled by the darkness
It will never be free
You are a slave to your pain
It cannot be fought
So give in, don’t fight it
You have already lost

Are you trying to find refuge with others like you?
It will not work
For you are alone
None of them know what it feels to be like this
An empty shell, a corpse, completely worthless
You try to tell them, to ask for help
But they will not listen
They are your friends, surely they will help?
They will not believe you
They will not care
It will only hurt more
Trust me, I was there

I do not offer hope, however,
There is no secret to tell
Of how to escape this living hell
My only hope for you is that you are weaker than me
I hope you never find the way out
It took me too long
But we will see
I so hope you are not as strong as me

To sum it up, I want your spirit to die.


YOU made me cry
YOU made me feel like nothing
You tore out my heart and walked on it like it was dust
You made me look at that knife and think
How much better my life could be if I wore my pain on my sleave
I wanted to scream
I wanted to die
I felt like everything I was living was a lie
Nothing seemed real to me
Except at night
That is when I would cry and fight
The darkness that was consuming me
It was choking me, ruining me!
You made me think I was worthless
Like no one would ever want me!
I became lifeless and pathetic
I thought my friends would leave me
I will not lie, I wanted to die
You turned love into hate
Yes, I hate you
Can’t you tell?
My smiles are fake and my thoughts are from hell

So my message to you is this:

Let it consume you so that I can see
If revenge is truly sweet for me

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