Shameless Regrets

January 7, 2009
Thinking back, I forgot to tell you how much I cared. Chills send vigorously through my body at the thought of allowing you to leave this terrifying world behind before telling you all those secrets my lips struggled to release. All the things I should have done to keep you safe and secure in my arms.. you didn’t deserve this. Your lean face embracing your bright smile which never left your lips.. now is turned to a dark mournful frown battling against reality.. or are you still smiling? .. I never meant for it to end up this way, letting my fears overtake opportunity. Allowing your existence to slip from my hands that wanted so badly to hold on to you forever.

At this moment today, I admit I was wrong. And everyday I must battle with the fact that you are already gone. Those moments I carelessly took for granted, will never return. I thought maybe someday I could confess those words I once could not bring myself to tell you, that chance is now forever gone, leaving me solely sitting, unsure of my next move.

Looking ahead, as for the future, I will not place even my most subtle thoughts on standby, for I will not make the same profound mistake again. For now, I must except what is true, and realize you are gone.. forever.. a word I have never believed in nor feared more than at this moment.

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