Remember those days long ago,
You don’t but I do.
You’ll never know because you were never truly there,
You pass it off as no big deal.
As if it shouldn’t hurt us,
You weren’t there when you said things that hurt so bad
A knife would have felt better.
Never sure if what you said was the truth
coming out or just the poison talking.
As we snuck out the back door,
I remember thinking I wish I could save dad to.
I cowered away from the yelling and screaming,
the slurred words as they came out of your mouth.
Running as far away as I could,
But the words kept following me…haunting me.
They flowed through the open window,
Finding me in the dark night.
Hearing another voice break through
as you got to out of control.
The voice trying to yell louder than you,
Breaking at times where she couldn’t hold her pain back.
Trying but never succeeding in silencing yet another night of pain.
Just adding to the hurtful memories that will always follow me,
Never leaving me alone.
Some nights I ran,
Ran as far away as I could get.
Others I stayed, watching the horrible scene as it burned its reminder into my mind.
This lasting so long I didn’t even bother to sneak anymore.
You watching as I poured the brown bottle down the drain,
Yet another waste.
As the hours would tick by,
You swore you stopped but I could smell the rancid poison on your breath.
Hiding the bottles now…how pathetic.
I tore through the house
Searching up and down for the culprit that would eventually threaten to break our family.
Throwing the fridge drawer open as I grabbed the long necks,
Watching as the glass shattered over the backyard garbage.
The sticky liquid splashing in tears.
I stood there, thinking when you would come to find me to
Wrench the bottles from my cold shaking hands.
You never did, too distracted to even care.
Later on you would wonder where all of them went.
I just sat in silence, never saying a word.
Just listening to the yelling and screaming once again
As it bled its way into my memories.