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Drum Beats of Life

By
When you find my heart not beating and lips are cold,
When you find my eyes unblinking because eyelids won’t fold,
Just remember I am not going to grow old.
My bones will stay solid until the time I fade,
I am not going to wrinkle and whither away.
Even if I forget my family, friends, my name!
Even if my cells are corrupt and diseased is my brain!
Even if my blood turns to fire in my veins!
Even if I have to endure unendurable pain!
I am not going to moan, cry or scream with rage
I have saved someone else’s life; I took their place
It was my attempt to run the last stretch with grace
But then my time was up - I finished the race
In this never ending battle to the finish line.
Understand that I could not tell you, for this burden was mine
I’m sorry, so sorry, but I could not say!
And now I’m scared it was the wrong choice that I made
But I didn’t want my last months to be hindered by your sorrow
Regretting I told you, because my time was borrowed.
Do not mourn for me - my days were numbered
I love you all, I needed you then, but all I wanted
Was to watch you be happy and laugh and smile.
I knew I only had a little while
To soak up everything about you all
Before it was the one last eternal fall
The sleep from which I could not stir
The rise to heaven, be gone from this earth
Never to see your faces again
Never to worry about hunger or pain
Never to quench my thirst or taste a meal
Never to love or hate or even to feel
I thought about the consequence of my silence
How I will never change from this adolescence
I wont grow up and be able to achieve what I was meant for
Just to be buried underneath the dirt in the floor
I envy the fact all my friends will change
And die from nothing more than old age
You will all live out your lives so safe, so sound
But I am the one who is penned in the ground!
I could be so jealous of all that I can never have
But I love you all too much for that
All I want now is for you to live it well
I would have given anything to be free from this cell
This underground hole inside part of a tree
Let me end by saying remember me
The girl who loved life, but had it stolen away
So if you despair, I shall always be there
Whispering ‘‘Live life day by day’’
Don’t worry about me, I’ll be watching from above
Thank you so much, all of you, for all of your love.

The drum beats of life forever strong,
Until bang! They stop, forever gone.





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Joy26 said...
Jan. 17, 2009 at 3:54 am
I have read so many fantastic poems today but this one really does beat all. I was sort of freaked out at the beginning (brain disease, blood turning to fire) but wow at the end I can feel tears coming at the beauty and sacrifice inscribed in this poem. Thank you for contributing!! I want to read more!!
 
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