Impossible To Let Go


I remember the first time I saw him
I remember every detail of his face
And every time I would look at him
My heart would begin to race

I remember the first time he called me
At first I thought it was just a game
But after that three hour conversation
I knew my life would never be the same

We started to see each other all the time
He was calling me everyday
I was completely insane because I believed
That things would always be this way

The months passed so quickly
We started to drift apart
I was extremely lost and confused
And alone with a broken heart

After more time had passed
I was learning how to let him go
I was just so ashamed
That I had let someone make me feel that low

I was getting on with my life
I was finally happy and free
Of coarse I still missed him
But I was just glad he was letting me be

Then one cold winter night
My phone began to ring
I saw his number pop up
It was just a crazy thing

I answered without even thinking
Then I heard his beautiful voice
I instantly got those feelings back
I wondered if I had made the right choice

He told me he wanted to see me
He said he was parked outside
I told him I was home and I would be right there
I wish I would have lied

He is back in my life
It has almost been a year
Another drift apart
Is the only thing I fear

I thought everything was going well
Everything in my life was great
Then I got a phone call from my mother
She said I don’t think I should wait

I need to tell you something
I’m looking at the newspaper here at work
I’m reading a birth announcement
And the father is that jerk

My heart fell to my stomach
I then began to cry
I couldn’t believe what was happening
I literally wanted to die

It has been a few weeks
Since I heard the terrible news
I try to defeat my pain
With chocolate and a new pair of shoes

He doesn’t know I know
It’s not the way it should be
I am just afraid to lose him
I need him here with me

I saw him the other day
And I wasn’t even mad
Because I love him so dearly
And that’s what makes me sad

I know I should end it
It’s time I put my foot on the ground
It is the right thing to do
I’m just afraid of him not being around

So here I am right now
Living in denial
Pretending there is hope
And that he is worth my while

I know I need to tell him
I know I need to move on
I need to face the facts
And just let go of what is gone

But how can I do this
When he’s in everything I do
How do I let go of him
I haven’t got a clue

So I guess I will keep living my life this way
Continue to love him is what I intend
Even though I know it’s only a matter of time
Before it all just comes to an end