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Need Love?

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See it but never feel it.
Get close, only to push it away.
“Don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone”
Epitome of my life.
What is wrong with me?
What makes me so un-lovable?
Can someone remove this defective sign from my forehead,
And replace it with a kiss.
I want more than mediocre.
I want someone to miss.
Do I ask for too much?
Are my requirements unachievable?
My heart remains unconquered, unattained.
I’m tired of fairy tale endings,
Silly thoughts put in my head by unrealistic, but hopelessly believable movies.
They are all the same.
Girl meets boy. Girl messes it up. Boy forgives girl.
Happily Ever After.
At least they let on that relationships have problems.
I want raw, unrelenting love.
The real deal.
No movie, novel, or episode of “Sex and the City” could ever touch.
Left alone, drowning in thoughts,
Who else in the world could need love,
Like I need love?



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Ivette D. said...
May 8, 2009 at 2:33 am
really good, keep up the good work! :)
 
Batwoman said...
May 7, 2009 at 11:53 pm
I know exactly how you feel. I've been shot down by like every guy I've ever liked and it's hard. But I always get back up and try again even when I feel unlovable. So thanks for sharing something that hits so close to home for me and probably a lot of other people.
 
Amaranth said...
May 7, 2009 at 7:02 pm
This is really good, although the first sentence is a little cliche for my taste. It shows teen angst at its greatest. Very well written, nice use of free verse that jerks your emotions. Keep on writing.
Care to comment on mine?
TeenInk.com/raw/Poetry/article/104809/A-Verse-of-Innocence/
 
Ieisha L. said...
May 7, 2009 at 12:47 pm
I love this poem it is so REAL!
 
writing4change said...
May 7, 2009 at 1:50 am
i Love this i hope to read much more!!
 
thedaydreamer13 said...
May 6, 2009 at 10:51 pm
i love it!! the poem had so much fealing... won-der-ful!!
hope to read more from this great author/poet!! :P hehe
 
<3::wish4wings::<3 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 6, 2009 at 10:44 pm
i like it alot!
all too relateable.
great work
 
That One Guy said...
May 6, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Hey don't worry because you will find the one person who will care for you. I was lonely and depressed once, then I found the girl of my dreams.
 
Krysta said...
May 6, 2009 at 2:04 am
I really liked it. I hope to read more!<3
 
cariberry24 said...
May 6, 2009 at 1:30 am
Thank you all for your kind words, I really appreciate it. I love to write, and all that comes out is truly me.

Thank you all for reading, rating, commenting, and criticizing. :) In the end, it will all help me become a better writer.
 
Sydney S. said...
May 5, 2009 at 9:13 pm
I know how you feel. I'm glad you've made me feel like I'm not alone.
 
Jessica R. said...
May 5, 2009 at 1:40 pm
i like this poem. i understand 100% i know how it fells to be in love even though i am young. and i know how it feels to have your heart broken and just wanting answers. its nothing wrong with that. no matter the age.
 
BeccaBlue826 said...
May 5, 2009 at 1:18 pm
this poem is undoubtfully different...i read it and think "no ryhmes or something that i've already heard"...i like that you make love something real but you still want it....good job
 
whitney S. said...
May 5, 2009 at 6:54 am
i think your poem was great and flowed like crazy i like how ur not scared to express your true emotions
 
bookhugger14 said...
May 5, 2009 at 1:17 am
O.M.G. that was a totally realistic, understandable, beautiful poem that i will never forget!!! thanks so much for writing it! i'm in love with it
 
Callie W. said...
May 5, 2009 at 12:48 am
i love what you're saying. and i agree all the way. it's very good :D
 
Angela V. said...
May 3, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Wow, that's really intense. I know exactly how that feels. Especially about the silly, unrealistic romantic movies that you can't help but need to believe in. Because what else is there but hope? Real love is always better the Hollywood love though.
 
Addison P. said...
May 3, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Beautiful. I thought it was very powerful, and it really touched me.
 
Brooke M. said...
May 3, 2009 at 1:22 am
your poem is really good
 
fisherj This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 2, 2009 at 9:43 pm
I think the poem begins well, the opening several lines set a nice tone. The voice is strong and develops nicely with the lines that are not rhetorical questions. The last line works with the poem and adds to it, but the other questions spread throughout detract from the flow and diminish the authors voice. I think that those lines could be left in substance, if only they were rewritten in a way that allowed them to work toward a more cohesive whole. Even if you feel it is important that the... (more »)
 
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