fists of steel

December 28, 2008
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You said you could feel what you want.
Even though I know those feelings are wrong.
But I’m not allowed to feel what I want.
Let me tell you how I feel, so much less than strong.

You say you’re so sick of it all.
You’re not alone there.
I’ve rebuilt every single wall.
Because I’m afraid of the pain I can share.

I don’t want to let the world know I’m weak.
I don’t want them to know I’m delicate.
I don’t want to let the world know I’m bleak.
I don’t want them to know I’m frantic.

This I want to stay internal.
I don’t want anyone to discover.
This pain has lasted to what seems eternal.
It seems to have lasted forever.

You words crush my bones so easily.
It’s like you have fists of steel.
And once you finish with my bones.
You go for my heart and what it feels.

You can’t hold me responsible.
I didn’t do anything to cause this.
More than anything I yearn to be invisible.
I didn’t do anything to make things amiss.

So don’t yell, don’t scold.
Don’t tell, don’t hold
Any of this against me.
Your cruel words are everlasting.

You think that I would betray you now?
You think that I am not the least bit loyal?
You think I’d do anything to see you on the ground?
It’s a disappointment that you think I would create a toil

That I would choose sides
That I would think ill
You’d rather just leave me behind,
Now I know you’d never carry me up that hill.

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