Breached Innocence

December 30, 2008
It's been so long since innocence
since I knew what it was to be content
these things take time but it's not hard
to see how quickly things change

yes, things change
in the blink of an eye
these things certainly are uncertain
so contradicting in many ways

whatever, fine
you really think I like this?
Do you think I enjoy being alone?
Do you think I actually like this?

I'm trying so hard to change these things
my grip is slipping, my eyes unseeing
it hurts more than my eyes can say
more than you can possibly know

really, there's no way for me to hide
there's no reason either
I'm here in the open
but I feel like I'm in a cage

small spaces, suffocating air
so difficult to breathe
I could draw my last breath here
and no one would see

I hate this
I hate it all
but most of all
maybe I hate me

Pain, shame, what makes up me?
Is it everything I hate?
Is it just who speaks to me?
I feel so trapped here.

Will these feelings ever end
or will they just get more intense?
I can't tell, I thought it was gone
but really, it's right here.

I have to face these things
I can't hide anymore
but what am I supposed to do
when I'm not sure and everyone is there?

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