Internal War

December 22, 2008
By Ashley Bent, St. Cloud, FL

I sit on my bed completely calm,
Even though there is a war going on inside my mind.
I try for hours to figure out where this is from.
There are a million answers that I can’t find.

I don’t feel anything on the outside,
It’s what’s on the inside that keeps me in pain.
This is what happens when both worlds collide.
A feeling that I can’t explain.

A feeling of being completely alone,
Even when you know your not.
Everything that you have known,
You have suddenly forgot.

You feel like crying but the tears don’t fall,
You feel like sleeping but you can’t close your eyes,
You desperately need someone to call
All you want is to see the sunrise.

So that you can put on your fake smile,
And pretend that you are fine,
Even though nothing you do is even worth while,
How you feel, you cannot define.

You want to talk to someone,
Although you can’t find the words to say what you’re thinking,
You feel like you lost the battle and your negative thoughts have won.
You feel like your heart is slowly sinking.

You want to yell and scream,
You want everyone to hear you,
You want to have a normal dream.
Actually all you want is you someone to come to your rescue.

Then in a flash the feeling is gone.
You go back to your normal life for a couple of days,
Then you return to praying for dawn,
And wishing that for once you would feel okay.

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