Unknown Darkness Inside

December 15, 2008
By Mary Skaja, Overland Park, KS

On the outside shy and innocent like a little child.
People only see one side, not what is within the heart.
Pretending everything is okay, having a laugh here and there,
But knowing that it is not.
Wanting to be all big and strong like a mustang.
Yet small, weak and unsure like an insect.
Feeling like a nobody, invisible, yet
To others a somebody.
Calm and fearful on the outside like a big cat,
Yet screaming and breaking down on the in.
Trying so hard to live life to the fullest.
Taking it one day at a time
Not rushing through the inevitable
Can be frightening and scare people.
Especially when angry/never in a good mood.
Insides hurting, but can fake it on the out.
Body filled with darkness,
Not knowing why or how it happened.
Filled with confusion, frustration
So confused, at the breaking point of all this.
Try to fill life with light,
But the darkness seems to creep in every time.
This mysterious darkness
That seems to keep from letting it all out.
Keeping/hiding things from others.
Trying to kill all evil with all the good,
But not succeeding.
At night crying on the inside, as to not show it to important people.
Soon ending with nothing.
And darkness winning/taking over.

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