A Song

December 11, 2008
By
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Sometimes things are tricky
The floor can be rickety
Decide what you need to fix
And then write your own lyrics

Start with finding your melody
That will show you who you should be
Trust yourself or loose who you are
And end up with more than a scar

The rhythm comes from within your heart
You’ve had it in you from the start
Let it soar in the wide open sky
Like a newly released butterfly

The chorus summarizes everything
The part that everyone wants to sing
Find your own chorus along the way
And everything else will be ok

Don’t forget to end with a bam
Let everybody hear the door slam





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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

Nicole P said...
Jan. 17, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Thanks for the feedback :)
I really apreciate it!
 
Joy26 said...
Jan. 17, 2009 at 2:30 am
Being a music lover myself, this just really connected with me. A little suggestion - somehow the last couplet seemed a little bit in-your-face...maybe try using some different rhymed words with a little less of a forceful connotation? Unless that's the way you meant it to end :)
So here's my alternate ending (sorry if I am intruding on your poem) -
Finally comes the last major chords
A fitting reminder of all life's rewards.
Or something. Awesome writing!!
 
shay said...
Dec. 29, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Great job! Very positive and uplifting
 
nicki said...
Dec. 26, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Really good! This should go in the magazine! :)
 
Marky1707 said...
Dec. 26, 2008 at 3:10 am
Fantastic!!
 
grammie said...
Dec. 24, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Wonderful
 
grammie said...
Dec. 23, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Of course this is a wonderful song. I filled in the wrong star - it should have been a five.
 
The 57 Bus said...
Dec. 23, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Beautiful....especially the line, "let it soar in the wide open sky like a newly released butterfly".....
 
sainttobe said...
Dec. 23, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Beautiful! I really liked the message behind the poem.
 
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