Used to be that kid for whom speaking was a chore
In the land of mumblers, I was the queen.
Perhaps I didn't trust my tongue to say something satisfactory
Maybe I just didn't like being loud.

People don’t often think of classical music being empowering.
Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Weber, Borodin, Spohr, Dvorak, Shostakovich, Finzi
- Not usually considered a list of strapping heroes.
But what if for a kid who’d never liked making
those arbitrary noises that humanity decided to call our main form of Communication
What if to that kid music made so much more sense?
The ability to convey thoughts and emotions in a way that beautifies the world
There is something poetic, no, magical about that concept.

Just like with speaking, you practice music until you find your voice.
The difference is that in the process of learning to create a sound you love on an instrument
You learn how to pour yourself into your sounds
How to tell truths about life you couldn't possibly articulate otherwise

It is impossible to lie through music.

It is impossible to convey to others through music something that you don’t actually believe
So if you want to play a different character you have to expand yourself and your imagination
To encompass that character so well that other people will believe it.
To be big, to be loud and then to be soft and gentle
To be breathtakingly sorrowful and then so jubilantly quick and agile that the urge to dance surges through your listeners
To be sarcastic and dramatic and then serene and genuine
To be all these things you have to take risks with the boundaries of yourself.
This is how we grow.

And then the most terrifying thing of all: performance.
Classical music is not played in basements or garages
Or even in coffee shops or small clubs
It is performed on stages illuminated with spotlights
In big auditoriums, with lots of people, and more importantly: lots of eyes
If you can spin your thoughts, sell your art, speak your soul out there,
Then why should the mundane act of talking take any effort at all?

Speaking is no longer such a chore.
School presentations are not cause for sleepless nights
Confidently volunteering answers is not uncommon
Playing my heart out for people is no longer an embarrassment

Music gave me a voice.