Sometimes I just want to be all alone. Just escape from the world and immerse in my despair. But at the same time, all I want to do is be with the people I love, and with the one I love. even though I sometimes am bothered by what they say or do, I never really want to be away from them. The things I say are inconsequential to how I really feel, without that person, my soul feels unreal. I don’t know why I do the things I do, but something inside feels one way and another side does the opposite of how I feel. As tears stream down my face I wish things could have ended things differently, because I was not who I condone. I was a vision of evil and hate that submerged out of me for a few quick seconds. I wish I could change what I said or did, but like they say, you can’t cry over split milk. No matter the words I speak or the ill actions I take, my heart is still only thinking of you. if what you want is a sorry, then here it is, but a simple sorry will never really let you know how I truly feel. if we need to take some time apart I understand, just know that I will be thinking about you every second. I wish I could escape the compulsion, but my heart has started to beat to your name. I don’t care if you love me anymore, but just know that I always will.
I will always love you
December 4, 2008