“Bella, what is your mother’s name again?” That’s how I remember one of the most meaningful day of my life to start. I remember I was 8 when my BFF invited me to go to her house for the first time. I can remember the butterflies in my stomach imagining how we would, finally, meet and have fun after school: I would play with her dolls and her dog Nino, and finally meet her parents. Her mother never really talked to me and I can’t hide: I was always scared to see her at school. Little I knew how would be our fist meeting, and is funny because I remember every single detail of that day: It would be a proof of how powerful words can be, even at the time when I couldn’t understand the real meaning of the situation.
I remember perfectly when Bella and I were walking to her house, close to the school. The sun was bright and the weather was nice, perfectly to have a nice day playing in the pool. My best friend was speaking too fast while we walked, telling me all the possibilities of games to play in the pool. In reality, Bella was more excited for me to see and talk to her mother than to actually play with her : “I always tell her about the things we do at school and she is finally going to meet you” she said in a high pitch tone with her big green eyes shining towards me. The people on our school called us “ Rice and Bean” for two main reasons: 1- We were always together, all the time, no matter what.2- She was white as snow, with gold hair, skinny body and big green eyes and, on the other hand, I had long dark hair and brown eyes, and my skin was brunette and tanned.
We finally got to her house, or better saying, her mansion: the house was tremendous and the gray color reminded me of an industry. We entered. Bella grabbed my hand and started to run and I couldn’t give much attention for details, the only thing I remember is that it was empty and super clean, not a colorful furniture at all. “Mommy, Daddy, Ricky, that is Luiza!” , suddenly when I look up I finally find myself: we were at the dinning room and her family was having lunch. My eyes were lost, so was my mind, and I can remember perfectly how my body trembled when I realized that 3 pairs of eyes were staring at me: Her mother and father were German and even whiter than her, and I remember both of them wearing glasses. Her brother, 4 years older than us, had brown hair and he was the most tanned in the “snow white” family. I wasn’t brave enough to look at them, I just said “HI” and then Bella invited me take one of the sits, so we would finally have lunch together.

Her family didn’t talk much, not to me at least. I remember smiling and biting my lips towards Bella, and she just whispered: “ Don’t be afraid, they are always quite and we will go to the pool soon”. The silence was killing me but I couldn’t speak, I was really shy and the situation was not helping at all. I looked up and I realized her dad was reading a book about “Nazism and Hitler”, and to say the truth, at that age the only thing I knew about Hitler was that he was some old German guy who was really bad and killed a lot of people. Little I knew what I would presence at that table and how the book would be involved. I was lost in thoughts while the maid was putting food on my plate, but when I looked up again my eyes met her father’s eyes and I tried to smile. No answer. When we finally started to eat, with the sound of the plates to cover the awkward silence in the room, her dad finally said with an ironic smile: “So, Luiza, where are you from?”
I looked at him and I answered: I am from Portugal sir, Where are you from?” I didn’t know why but I felt intimidated but maybe I was exaggerating, right? Maybe he was just trying to be nice and Bella’s family was just shy or quiet naturally. “ Oh, I am from the best: Germany…. I am reading this book about an important moment in History, the Nazism, you know? Is very interesting and is a story about races”. He was moving his eyebrows up and down while eating a piece of chicken and trying to talk to me. I looked at Bella and her face looked confused: “ Daddy, we didn’t get to this part of history yet, we are learning about Egypt and this types of things. Who was Nazism?”, I remember her smile of curiosity, a child trying to learn and discovering new things, in this case not the best things.
I remember I started to eat and I wasn’t really interested in the subject. I was really hungry since we had no time to have lunch at school and the food looked delicious: the smell of the rice and beans and how they were the perfect combination in my plate. The chicken was hot and … “ They killed people just like Luiza”. When I heard my name, I stopped moving and my heart was beating fast: “Sorry, what happened?”
“Oh Luiza, I was saying that they used to kill people like you, part of your race. You know that my race, the Germans, is superior to yours. So you probably would get killed by us if we were in World War II.” – her father said that with a smile on his face but I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I wanted to vomit but I stayed there, in my innocent mind I though he was just talking about history. I didn’t want to eat anymore, but then I realized something: “ Ricky would be killed because he has dark hair too.” I said with a smile on my face cause it probably would be funny or at least an intelligent comment, right? Ricky had dark hair just like me.
After my last sentence, their parents looked at each other like what I said was some kind of a sin, and finally, her mother broke the silence with a ironic smile on her face: “ The race is in your blood, they would know the race which Ricky belongs to, he would survive but you and your entire family would die. But don’t worry, the superior and inferior races can coexist now, so everything is fine”. After her last sentence I didn’t know why but I felt like crying: my hands were sweating and they were cold like ice. I looked at my plate and the rice and bean didn’t taste good anymore, I wanted to eat only the rice and I don’t know why the beans tasted so bitter. I felt wrong and inappropriate almost like I didn’t deserve to be Bella’s best friend and she was probably the best person in the world to accept me. I looked up and I was waiting to see her face smiling ironically just like her parents but her eyes looked sad. I excused my self and I ran to the bathroom: I had no idea what just happened but I wanted to go home.
“Luiza, can you open the door?” – it was Bella knocking the door from the outside. I let her pass and she had the half of the necklace with heart shape made for best friends: mine was “Friends”, and hers was “Best”. “ I think you got sad because they said this crazy things about races but I never liked History and this guy they talk about sometimes, he is so weird, I cant believe he was capable to kill people like you. To be honest I think is cooler to have the tanned skin you have because I always get injuries and it gets all purple on my white skin. Now, lets go play outside.” I remember the words she used and the way she grabbed my hand to go with her. I stopped for a second to look at the contrast we had: white and brown. The words she said were so meaningful and beautiful and it was funny cause at the time I didn’t knew what it really meant, the only thing I knew and felt was that My best friend in the entire world liked me and she wanted to have my skin color and that maybe, the superior race never existed.