November 29, 2008
I'm knee deep in water,
My eyes and face turned to the sky.
Larks, sparrows, finches, doves.
I wish I could fly like them.

I did once, I could fly.
But I gave up my wings,
and I gave up my heart.
Both now fly alone.

I can feel the water retreat.
It's suddle song, and
It's soft angels.
I watch my last compaions flee.

I stand alone,
Knee deep in sand.
Angels, clowns, lions, swords.
They've all gone away...

I did once...
And now I'm sinking in sand,
sufficating on my mistakes.

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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

kiwi12 said...
Aug. 11, 2009 at 12:20 am
I like it much. and as for exaggeration, it helps sometimes to picture the poem better.
ElizabethS. said...
Jan. 24, 2009 at 3:58 am
This was nice, but the spelling mistakes really take away from the flow of the poem. Check "subtle", "companions", and "suffocating".
sarahweis said...
Jan. 19, 2009 at 2:13 am
i liked it. beautiful :)
though it is suffocating not suffication...just for future reference. still wonderful :)
F'donkadonk said...
Jan. 18, 2009 at 12:19 am
I enjoyed reading that, and thought that your poem was one big metaphor overall.
"I did once, I could fly. But I gave up my wings, and I gave up my heart." That little section was nice :)
Joespheind123 said...
Jan. 16, 2009 at 9:40 pm
I think that this poem was very deep and mystery like. I wish I knew what was going on in the authers head as he/she wrote the poem.
Michelle Saucier said...
Dec. 29, 2008 at 8:21 pm
I liked it. I don't know what's wrong with it, but I do like it. I'm a picky reader also, so I hope this encourages you.
BellaCullen95 said...
Dec. 16, 2008 at 6:51 pm
I think the poem was alright to a point. Angels, clowns, lions, swords, what in the world does that mean? Apart from that though, it's a great piece.
Redemption65 said...
Dec. 14, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Now, we all like to read imagery, but this is absurd. "I stand alone, knee deep in sand" is a exaggeration, and I believe imagery that is exaggerated is as horrible as a cliche.
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