Sand | Teen Ink

Sand

November 29, 2008
By Anonymous

I'm knee deep in water,
My eyes and face turned to the sky.
Larks, sparrows, finches, doves.
I wish I could fly like them.

I did once, I could fly.
But I gave up my wings,
and I gave up my heart.
Both now fly alone.

I can feel the water retreat.
It's suddle song, and
It's soft angels.
I watch my last compaions flee.

I stand alone,
Knee deep in sand.
Angels, clowns, lions, swords.
They've all gone away...

I did once...
And now I'm sinking in sand,
sufficating on my mistakes.



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This article has 8 comments.


on Aug. 11 2009 at 12:20 am
kiwi12 PLATINUM, Austin, Texas
28 articles 10 photos 365 comments
I like it much. and as for exaggeration, it helps sometimes to picture the poem better.

ElizabethS. said...
on Jan. 24 2009 at 3:58 am
This was nice, but the spelling mistakes really take away from the flow of the poem. Check "subtle", "companions", and "suffocating".

sarahweis said...
on Jan. 19 2009 at 2:13 am
i liked it. beautiful :)

though it is suffocating not suffication...just for future reference. still wonderful :)

F'donkadonk said...
on Jan. 18 2009 at 12:19 am
I enjoyed reading that, and thought that your poem was one big metaphor overall.

"I did once, I could fly. But I gave up my wings, and I gave up my heart." That little section was nice :)

on Jan. 16 2009 at 9:40 pm
I think that this poem was very deep and mystery like. I wish I knew what was going on in the authers head as he/she wrote the poem.

on Dec. 29 2008 at 8:21 pm
I liked it. I don't know what's wrong with it, but I do like it. I'm a picky reader also, so I hope this encourages you.

on Dec. 16 2008 at 6:51 pm
I think the poem was alright to a point. Angels, clowns, lions, swords, what in the world does that mean? Apart from that though, it's a great piece.

Redemption65 said...
on Dec. 14 2008 at 8:43 pm
Now, we all like to read imagery, but this is absurd. "I stand alone, knee deep in sand" is a exaggeration, and I believe imagery that is exaggerated is as horrible as a cliche.