At Wits End

November 24, 2008
By Jacob Stentz, Mt. Healthy, OH

Scared, alone, I lie in bed
Darkness consuming, fear in my head
I go to a place in which I adore
Golden ceilings, walls, with marble floor
My inner sanctuary is where I hide
No lies, no problems, all demons out side
Nothing can enter my fortress of gold
My hopes and prayers it does hold

Bashing, clanking, sounds from around
Banging, smashing, then not a sound
Peering out the window, all I see is black
An army of fear ready to attack
Millions of problem, I have pushed away
All surfaced together, on the same day
I catch a faint, growing whistling cry
At that they advance and with a tear I sigh

My fate will result from this coming battle
But confident that my castle will not rattle
At the ready, I stand to fight
They just keep coming, no end in sight
Wave after wave an endless cascade
They break down the door and start to invade
Frantically I run through twisted corridors
Slamming behind me my sanctuary door

Pushing holding my door in its place
Sweat, now rolling down my face
Attempting to win, with all my might
As I fail and cry into the night
The flood of shadows rush into the room
Washing over me, my mind they consume
Beating, stabbing, tearing, leaving a hole
As they subside, they have taken my soul

In darkness I lie, with pain and fear
They took something else, but what? It’s not clear
I search obsessed with screams of despair
My self, my me, is gone, its not there
At that, in a corner, I rest on the wall
As reality takes root, I curl into a ball
A deep sadness approaches, I bask in its wake
Exhausted, spent, I give into my fate

I open my eyes, it was all a dream
All in my head, it is not as it seemed
Then I look at the people, who stand around
In a hospital room, they make not a sound
I look at my arms all slashed and scratched
To multiple machines I am attached
I start to cry for I see my state
Depression had set in and help was almost too late

The author's comments:
This was inspired by a dear friend of mine, who was dealing with serious depression. After he told me what he was going through, we got him help, but I wrote this piece about what would have happened if he gotten help. So I hope for anyone who reads this, that they will realize that everyone goes through rough times and those having trouble need someone there to hold their hand.

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