Indecisive Fool

November 18, 2008
By Estefania Castaneda, San Ysidro, CA

The very sight of you causes me repulsion,
These emotions are like electricity crawling on my skin,
Get near me, for just a second,
And my heart becomes a loud drum that everyone can hear,
Run…run says,
I’m mad, enraged at the fact that you, and only YOU,
Can bring me down on my knees without even lifting one finger,
I was once invincible, the phantom of the night,
And you tore my shield with just one swing,
Why do I have to bow and admit defeat?

Oh no… I have not lost yet,
Not to your mischievous eyes and Cheshire cat smile,
Not to those star lit eyes and childish personality,
Oh heck who am I kidding? Look at me,
Without even trying I’m already praising you.

Who are you, where do I begin?
I try my best to not be affected by your magnetic force,
It doesn’t matter how hard I try, I’ve lost my throne,
Every time, everywhere I look, things remind me of you,
Good or bad there is always something that contaminates my thoughts,
And brings me back into a portal of honesty, day dreaming about you,
Enslaved to fantasies and fairy tale-like confessions,
But none of it will be true, or so I think.
Odds are you know it already, but I’m the fool who still chases after the enemy,
I’ve fallen for the kidnapper, the villain, the ignorant,
That’s why I hate you,
Despite of all the barriers I’ve put,
You seem to have entered with no difficulty,
And to be honest I’m glad that someone could break in,
It has been far too long since someone dared to do such a thing,
Although your presence still angers me,
I want you to open the one door where I have hidden myself,
I’m waiting… just open it
Want to know why?
Because I love you.

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