To Mr. Phileas Fogg

Around the world in eighty days,
An unbeatable record so I’ve heard.
Well, I’ve been around the world in forty minutes
From Paris to Tokyo.

I’ve had tea with the Queen of England
And seen bullfights in Madrid.
I rode a camel across the Sahara desert in less than a minute
And went to a concert of a famous Chinese band.

Were you fortunate enough to try a Cuban cigar,
During your worldwide travels abroad?
Did you get to spend a whole day
With the old Russian tsar?

All these things I’ve done,
Without lifting a single finger or spending a dime,
Sitting at a desk in my classroom.
Listening to my teacher.