The Truth

November 10, 2008
By
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Wanna know the worst part about being lied to? It is knowing that you're not worth the truth. Knowing that that person doesn't care about you enough to be honest about anything. Knowing that they can lie straight to your face with no guilt. No emotion.
That's the worst part.
Do you know the second worst part about being lied to? Is that I loved you enough to ignore all the signs; all the warnings- to believe every lie that came through your mouth.
Thinking that for ONE second; you actually CARED about everything I've said. You know all the right things to say. But do you actually know how to MEAN them?
And I hope you choke on EVERY WORD you spoke to me while I looked in your eyes- and was too lost to see the truth.
Tell me something. And before you answer; think about your answer. Be COMPLETELY honest. I'm pretty sure I deserve THAT much right now. What do I REALLY mean to you? Honesty, now. That's all i ask for.
You've seen me at my best. You've seen me at my worst. You've seen me with the biggest smile on my face. But did you ever think to look PAST the fake smile? To what I'm REALLY feeling...? -Didn't think so.
You didn't even care enough to ask ME what was wrong. You went through everyone else. And by doing that, a lie was told to you. But did you ever think that maybe....Just maybe... My problems were because of you? You knew this would come. It was only a matter of time before I saw straight through your lies. So were you ready for the pain you put upon me?
And when you FINALLY REALIZE how special I was, How much I meant to you, how much you miss me, how beautiful I could be, how much I loved you; I'll be with the guy who already KNEW all of this. And at that VERY moment, you'll wish you could have been the guy that I thought you were.
You'll be on your knees, teling me how sorry you are. How you never opened your eyes to realize that everything you wanted, was right in front of you. You'll be asking me for a second chance.
And I'll grab your hand; and I'll apologize.
I'm sorry for looking at you; and falling harder than I ever have in my entire life. I'm sorry for the first time I said "Hi" to you, and immediately felt something. I'm sorry that you were there in the efforts to comfort my fears; wipe away my tears. Instead, you made them worse.
I'm sorry that you were so afraid to feel anything for me. That you were scared of committment. That maybe I was the one for you.
I'm sorry for all the good times we had together. For all the times we could feel eachother's heartbeats, and, well, -It felt perfect.
But mostly, I'm sorry about how I'm not sorry anymore. I'm sorry that I don't care anymore. And I'm sorry you couldn't take me as I am. That I'm not wondering when just-being-me; will be enough.
And I'll hug you tighter than I ever have before; knowing that I NEVER WOULD AGAIN. And I'll look into your eyes ONE LAST TIME, and with a tear rolling down my cheek, I'll whisper something to you.
"In your world, I was as insignificant as a teardrop in an ocean. But in MY world, you were as significant as that ocean... to a teardrop.
-I love you."
And then I'll walk away from you forever; as the last tear I will EVER shed for you....
-Dries on my cheek.





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