from the girl who didn't believe in love

January 25, 2014
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From the moment I met you, you drew me in.
What it was about you, I cannot comprehend.
Maybe because you were older, and so out of my reach,
But the truth is that I knew you’d only use me.
I was never number one to you,
I wasn’t even second third, or for that matter tenth.
I was just another girl who you would offer her innocence.
For a while it bothered me.
I gave up on the world around me eventually,
Because I realized it’s unrealistic to expect,
I told I’d give you what you wanted,
Because I didn’t think love could really exist.
You were too far away, but you told me someday we would.
I have been waiting now for longer then I should.
It dawned on me when for two weeks you didn’t say a thing,
That me the girl who didn’t want to believe in love,
Was becoming a hypocrite.
So, I guess I have been falling for 3 years now,
I’ll write it but never say it out loud.
I have dropped people in the process of falling,
Because I didn’t want them around when you came calling.
I can’t wait anymore, and I really want someone else.
While I am thinking about you, I can’t think wholly of him,
He could make me feel the same but right now there is no way to tell.
You don’t know the important things about me, and he can’t,
Because you’re on my mind and I won’t give him the chance.
I need to let go of you, if you can’t be here forever.
If I am going to believe in love someday,
You must be here always or never.
I might be able to find someone else if you would just let me go
But as long as you make contact, you’re the closest thing I’ll ever know.
So say you want me every day or please leave me be.
If you leave I can handle a broken heart,
But I can’t handle you just sometimes wanting me.
From the girl who didn’t want to believe in love
I know you don’t love me.
You have slowly made and example of…
all the things I didn’t want to believe

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