My feet quietly hit the carpeted steps
As I slowly tip toe down them.
I’m as quiet as the city roads just before dawn
Trying not to make a sound,
Trying not to be noticed.
I peer around the corner,
Trying to stay hidden
To see what was making the sound
That filled my ears so violently.
So violently that not only did it shake me,
It rattled my whole house.
The sound replayed in my head
Over and over and over
Like a broken record.
It was almost like the sound of fireworks
Or a gunshot.
What I saw that day will never be unseen.
It will forever be etched in my mind
No matter how much I want it to,
It won’t go away.
The sight of my father
Lying on the floor, lifeless.
The blood was splattered like
Red paint on a canvas.
I could feel a knot
In the back of my throat
My sight becoming blurry from the tears.
They began streaming down my face uncontrollably,
Like the water in a waterfall.
My bottom lip quivering,
My voice becoming shaky
I rubbed my eyes
Trying to wake myself up from this nightmare
Trying to un see what I just saw
But I couldn’t.
How can he be gone?
This isn’t how it’s supposed to go
This isn’t how my life’s suppose to be
This isn’t how the fairytales end.
But this wasn’t a fairy tale,
And I wasn’t going to get my happy ending.
This was real life.
And he was gone.