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My Disease

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I am suffering from a disease,
It's not contagious,
This I know.
What I don't know is exactly what it does,
Or how to cure it,
If thereeven is a cure.
I can however, tell you how it feels.
I'm tired in both mind and body,
Yet somehow hyper at the same time.
Though that could just be me seeing as how I'm weird.
That doesn't bother me much,
It's normal for me.
What bothers me is my moods.
I hardly ever truly want to live anymore.
This world gets tougher,
Rougher, and harder to survive in.
Everyday survived should be a gift,
But it doesn't feel that way.
I feel as though I have a virus in my brain,
That eats away or merely hides my happy thoughts.
And my ability to feel happy.
I try my hardest to be happy,
And though I normally succeed for a while,
Deep down I feel like crying.
I feel an unwelcome distance between me and those I care about,
Therefore I worry about my relationships constantly.
Ireally want to keep this part of my brain,
I need it if I'm to get through the pain,
That life and love can often bring.
I'm fighting my disease the best that I can,
Though whether I shall win I haven,t the slightest clue.
And so now I turn to you for help,
Shelter, and guidance,
So thst I might make it through,
With my happy thoughts intact.
I turn to you.





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