One Last Wish

October 6, 2008
When the mountains start to crumble
And tumble to the ground,
My dreams will be crushed,
I’ll be suppressed of sound.

When the deep ocean trenches have come to swallow us up
And sup the life from within,
My emotions will sink in the cool waters.
I’ll drown in the world’s sins.

When the cities fold in on themselves
And street signs sigh with grief,
My loves will collapse.
I’ll be trapped in empty streets.

When the sky descends towards the Earth
And all hope seems as good as gone,
My one last wish before we’re done --
I’ll be with you before the strike of dawn.

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This article has 30 comments. Post your own now!

Lkizzle said...
Oct. 16, 2008 at 12:21 am
Wonderful poem, Dark yet embodies a certain feeling. Great job!
ohyouzknow said...
Oct. 16, 2008 at 12:13 am
good job! i love the personification and the word choice. i love it overall
ravengurl8067 said...
Oct. 16, 2008 at 12:03 am
good job laura keep it up! :-)
digs said...
Oct. 15, 2008 at 11:55 pm
sweet poem Laura. Its deep
Smoky<3 said...
Oct. 15, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Really nice job awesome
PansyPunk13 said...
Oct. 15, 2008 at 11:00 pm
this is awsome really good!
aprettycrazyguy said...
Oct. 15, 2008 at 10:59 pm
this is pretty sweet, good word choice
willow c. said...
Oct. 15, 2008 at 10:58 pm
SallySunshine69 said...
Oct. 15, 2008 at 10:54 pm
This is soo good! I love the abstract ideas and connections made! The feel for the poem is just spectacular!
FirstDown2293 said...
Oct. 15, 2008 at 10:53 pm
I Love It Laura! =D
raemccabe said...
Oct. 14, 2008 at 10:09 pm
oh my god. i seriously love this. i'm not just saying this because you asked me to put in a good word about this poem. i seriously love it. you're awsome laura.
Neander White said...
Oct. 13, 2008 at 5:12 pm
A vision of the end of the world as both an external and an internal apocalypse is interesting and exciting. The two middle stanzas of the poem neatly and appropriately fold in on the poet: first the tectonic trenches tower from the ocean depths, inverting the whole geometry of planet Earth, and the poet's "emotions... sink" into the waters that are now themselves towering into the skies. Then, the cities slam downwards into the earth, torn apart and stood up sideways, the flat cement ... (more »)
disgruntledsnowman said...
Oct. 13, 2008 at 12:13 am
great poem, really captures the feel of the times. with such a depression in the states, both in moral and the stock market, im sure im not the only feeling this way when i pick up a newspaper.
Sdwmonkey said...
Oct. 12, 2008 at 3:21 am
Laura, I love this poem. =) Great job.
pjman1989 said...
Oct. 11, 2008 at 11:29 pm
This is really good. I like it alot. Well written.
HayZebraOWWskii said...
Oct. 11, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Laura is an amazing poet. I really do love this poem. It shows that even when hope is lost, we have the courage to carry on. Nice work Laura.(:
eclipsexreign said...
Oct. 11, 2008 at 11:06 pm
It has a pretty sold meter except for two instances. Strong symbolism with the ocean the mountains and the sky. It is a poem of hope and leaves you with a hint of love.
TallTrombonist said...
Oct. 11, 2008 at 11:00 pm
This captures the mood well. There is understandable enough, but with enough abstract-ness (for lack of a better word) to allow for the reader to imagine the scenario in their own personal way. Good job and keep on developing your style!
beebop369 said...
Oct. 11, 2008 at 3:29 am
Awesome and really deep!!!!
VanSchoicksta said...
Oct. 11, 2008 at 3:17 am
This poem was soo good. i read it and it spoke to me. i love the imagery. i can see the sky falling towards the earth. i cannot get over how good this is. i'm in awe right now this is just so good
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