Love Lies | Teen Ink

Love Lies

July 13, 2013
By Waistband GOLD, Hudson Falls, New York
Waistband GOLD, Hudson Falls, New York
15 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong." Robin Williams


You told me you loved me, you told me you cared.
I said forever, I held you when you were scared.
I thought to the future, and you did to.
But unlike your visions, I saw me and you.
I was blind to the truth; I gave into your lies.
Fueled by the flames, now all I feel is despise.
You said you would carry me, but you just let me fall.
I tried to enter your heart, but I just came to a wall.
I fell for an act, A play written so well.
That when I faded from reality, I could not tell.
So I look back today, at all that we lost.
When you said that you cared, your fingers were crossed.



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This article has 8 comments.


Waistband GOLD said...
on Aug. 8 2013 at 1:26 pm
Waistband GOLD, Hudson Falls, New York
15 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong." Robin Williams

Thank you lace. :) And you have no idea how correct your last sentance is. I remember staring at this poem at one point and just thinking "How in the world am i supposed to end this?" haha. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much and found it so relatable. :)

on Aug. 5 2013 at 2:16 am
laceandcoffee PLATINUM, Rio Rancho, New Mexico
21 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We make up horrors to help us escape from the real ones."- Stephen King
"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry. I want danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin."- Aldous Huxley

I love how you managed to turn a simple poem into something so emotional and relateable. I loved the last line and I'm jealous of your ability to wrap it up so well which is something I find rather difficult. The poem could have gone on and on but you found an appropriate phrase and place for your closing which is usually easier said than done.

Waistband GOLD said...
on Jul. 22 2013 at 12:12 pm
Waistband GOLD, Hudson Falls, New York
15 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong." Robin Williams

Thank you for the positive review willow. :)  

on Jul. 21 2013 at 5:58 pm
BlackRosetears BRONZE, Spokane, Washington
4 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never Give In"

That Poem was Amazing it had a very, I don't know rhyme to it I loved the flow and word choice

Waistband GOLD said...
on Jul. 20 2013 at 11:59 pm
Waistband GOLD, Hudson Falls, New York
15 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong." Robin Williams

Thank you lisa. :) Im glad that you enjoyed my work and maybe ill give that a try haha

on Jul. 20 2013 at 11:32 pm
BalladOfMonaLisa PLATINUM, Na, Other
24 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love and to be loved; to hurt and to be hurt. These are the ideals that make up humanity. ~Me (Lisa)

Beautiful (': Haha, I love it! Very nicely executed.... Although it may be better if you were to use meter a little? I don't know. Anyway, this one is a wonderful piece. Well done!

Waistband GOLD said...
on Jul. 19 2013 at 11:24 pm
Waistband GOLD, Hudson Falls, New York
15 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong." Robin Williams

Thank you. :) I love it when someone enjoys my poetry and gives me feedback. :)

Zolenz DIAMOND said...
on Jul. 19 2013 at 8:01 pm
Zolenz DIAMOND, Musquodoboit Harbour, NS, Other
65 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
The pain that have cost us, the evils which have never happened.
- Thomas Jefferson

I love your poem, its one i would memorize. It flows and has all the poetic elements but my favourite part is the spirit. 


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