Sometimes, I wonder, 'To die, how does it feel?'
Through either hot lead, or cold, cold steel.

Many nights, I've stared myself down,
And had to fight the thoughts in which I'd surely drown.

There have been nights, where the weight of all I've not done,
Have outweighed the feelings of all the good I'd done;

Where all that I am,
Has not been enough to prove to myself that i'm worth the ground on which I stand.

There thoughts, I've battled all on my own.
My fight, and my fight alone.

Now, as I stare down the barrel of the bottle,
I am reminded of all the good I've done, the force coming down at full throttle.

There are those in my life now,
Who have reminded me how;

How to love myself amidst all the voices of doubt, guilt, and shame.
And to them, I owe my life, and my love; I say so on Christ's name.

This is a poem to help remind,
In the times where it is just you and your mind;

That there is still good, in the midst of the dark.
So my dearest friend, never lose heart.