From the Eyes of the Hunted | Teen Ink

From the Eyes of the Hunted

May 10, 2013
By Hunt17 BRONZE, Franklin, Tennessee
Hunt17 BRONZE, Franklin, Tennessee
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

One day I was a walkin' through the woods pickin' off flees
And as you would guess, minding my own business
I was walkin' along towards my favorite field

When I noticed a short, chubby guy standin' up near the oak trees
It was a good day even though I had woke up with a fair amount of dizzyness
At this moment I knew something was wrong as the chubby man was advancing with a large shield

I thought it might be halucinations as it had been a rough morning
As I was cruising along down to the turnip patch
I turned and ducked as I heard a loud whizz

I then saw a young doe get shot through the head and now we were all in mourning
I brushed it off and decided to continue eating my thatch
When I heard a loud bang followed by a massive pain

It took me hardly three seconds to desipher what had just happened
I jolted up and attempted to run
Left
Right
Left
Right

I was dipping and
Diving and
Jumping and
Crying
When I felt my knees give way

Earth rushing towards me
Death coming for me
I wish I could just sit down and pray
But no more hope found
As at last I fell to the ground
And it was clear my ending would not be so gay

My searing hot flesh
As long as it was still fresh
Placed in a bag made of mesh

I was then to be drug away
I was then to be drug away
I knew I could no longer stay


The author's comments:
I wrote a poem entitled "From the Eyes of the Hunted." It is a story of a hunting experience from a clueless deer's perspective. I have personified the deer and he even starts to kind of make fun of the hunter in my story. The deer even begins to deny what is happening around him and becomes nearly comical.
I used rhythm and rhymes in many different ways to help emphasize points. I began with a rhyme scheme of A, B, C, A, B, C, D, E, F, etc. Then as the storyteller got shot, I stopped the rhyming to show a shock. As the deer was trying to escape I made the poem very choppy to give the allusion that it was a blur for the storyteller. I then showed that the deer had begun to embrace death by picking up another rhyme scheme of A, A, B, C, C, B. I, yet again, changed the rhyme scheme to A, A, A, B, B, B to show that the storyteller had died. Some people might would think I would make this part choppy instead of adding a familiar rhythm to it so that it would seem sad, but I decided to intentionally add rhythm of “Little Miss Muppet” to make it fluent to show that the death was not such a bad thing just a continuation of the circle of life. Although I cannot say that rhyming about death doesn't add to the comedic value of the poem, it is intended to shine a ray of hope and make the death of the storyteller a new beginning instead of an ending.

I purposely misspelled word to show that the dear wasn't that smart.

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