Masochistic She

September 18, 2008
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He’s broken her heart
more than once.
She’s allowed him
any number of times
She’s given him
dozens of opportunities.

It hurts more each time
but she keeps on letting

him in.
She knows
she can’t trust him
She knows
He’ll just hurt her again.
But she needs their friendship.
She needs him.

The pain--
of rejection,
of betrayal
was worth it.
He’s like an opiate
he dulls the pain--
But he doesn’t make the pain leave.
She was—is
to him.
To his
To his very presence.
To the mere fact that he--
he gets her, better than anyone.

But their relationship—
He just keeps on hurting
and she just keeps on wanting,
wanting more than he's willing to give.
But their relationship
is making a masochist out of her.
is making a masochist out of her
But she wants out.
But she wants him.
But she has nothing left to give.
She’s out. And it hurts her to say this—to hurt him
But masochism
doesn’t suit her.

She won’t
do this anymore.
She has nothing left to give him.
The pain—the dependence—
Just hurts too much, too much
For her, little, weak her
to bear.

It’s all too much for anyone to bear.

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