Dead in the Spirit

September 18, 2008
You’ve been walking in the valley of the shadow of death.
The hundred different demons surrounding you have fire on their breaths.

Your soul and spirit have been burned up,
And for you there seems to be no overrunning cup.

The devil’s men throw your life down beside your foot.
There is nothing left but ashes and soot.

The demons all laugh in your face.
It seems there’s no hope left in your case.

Forget fear; remember faith.
Don’t become absent from his embrace.

Don’t forget if you’re ever in a stew
Who He is and what He can do.

Don’t lose hope, and don’t lose faith
Because, my child, your revival is on its way.





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dgdeuce said...
Sept. 24, 2008 at 5:41 am
Some of the lines in your works are either too long or too short as far as how they "roll off the tongue" when they're read. Try using words with fewer syllables to shorten a line up when needed and adding words or syllables when you have a line that sounds shorter than the majority of the poem. Your content is great and you show a good writers flare. Just work on keeping your flow steady by tinkering with different words. A thesaurus is a great tool for this.
 
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