My Pillow Is Wet

September 12, 2008
“Why am I still awake?”
But then I remembered,
My pillow is wet.
It’s wet with the tears I shed for you.

Each one that cascades down my face means something different.
Over the period I’ve known you, they have all added up.
That was foolish, because now
My pillow is wet.

One tear falls for care.
The care that I gave you.
I cared about what you thought.
Never wanting to disappoint you.
Always trying my best,
To make sure I didn’t do anything wrong,
But because of that
My pillow is wet.

Another falls for carelessness.
The carelessness that you showed me.
All the times I was there
Just to find out that you didn’t care.
That whatever happens, happens
I believe those were your words, and now
My pillow is wet.

Another is because of stupidity.
I’m crying because I was stupid.
Stupid to believe this was going to work.
That my time wasn’t going to matter in the end.
I was stupid to think I mattered to you.
My pillow is wet.

Tears fall for blindness.
I was blind to see this coming.
Not being able to see
That you didn’t want me there.
That I couldn’t see you didn’t want me.
My pillow is wet.

Tears fall for pain.
Pain that I cannot fix.
Only My heart can be mended,
But the person that can fix it, won’t
You wouldn’t know the pain I’m feeling though.
It’s because you have no feelings, right?
My pillow is wet.

Tears can mean many things.
From care to carelessness,
Stupidity and blindness,
All the way to love and pain.
Those are the reasons I’m still awake.
All because my pillow is wet.

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