I have seen happier times when the world was so much simpler,
Back when my family was whole
And I didn't have to worry about who's staying or going
Or if I will ever be back in this place again.
I didn't have to worry about who were my friends,
Or how close I truly am to the end.

It seems so much better
When it was just me and my kin--
but drugs always win.
And war broke out,
and I started to doubt the very people
that I love.
(or if there is truly a Man up above).

As my stress rose, so did my paranoia,
Suicide seemed to be the way my family decided to take
and I still lie awake, remembering the funerals.
Then another piece of me seemed to break away,
But I'm not giving up, no matter how much I fade.
So I'm going to sit here, losing more sleep,
trying to keep what little sanity is still left,
After these memories have eaten away with the help of the nightmare I live night and day.
and no matter how hard I try they won't go away, so I stay locked in my head, envying the dead,
and wishing
I could live in the past, back before my life crashed,
but I won't run away--I'll just kneel and pray
for better days.