Cigarettes and Smoke

September 11, 2008
By Lina Lavitsky, San Francisco, CA

I miss your smell—
Cigarettes and smoke.
But who are you kidding?
All the drugs in this world
Could not save you from your hell
For that one sober second
Will always remind you of things
You wish you had forgotten.
And every second that passes
Is wasted. Just like you.

Your vacant eyes
Please don’t try to convince me
That you believe even half the lies
You tell yourself.
Who are you kidding?

No, don’t comfort me
While you destroy yourself.
Because I‘m a wreck too.
For I stained my fingertips
With the smell of you.
And you say that you’ve been worse
Never better, can’t I see?
But I know you. I am you.
And who are you kidding?
Just let me be.

The author's comments:
This is for a friend that I wish I could have saved.

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