September 7, 2008
I feel used and decrepit
Cuz I’ve been abused by the world that I’ve accepted
I’m no longer number one or two
So what the hell am I supposed to do
Now that I’m supposed to learn something new?

I will reflect on how I got into this predicament

I am disappointed in myself and my mentors
So now I must vent for
Everything I loved to do
But can’t do anymore because of you
I feel like the old lady in shoe
Caring for 20 kids,
Praying they don’t have the flu
But at the same time,
I’m the one feeling sick
Cuz I can’t tell whether this is a trick or a joke,
I hope the answer is nope
Cuz I’ve lost my position,
My place with the group
And I’ve been moved to a spot where I cannot recoup,
A squad that I’m not familiar with
A job that I feel peculiar in

But things would turn out easier for me
If only I accepted this new opportunity
But I just can’t adjust
To a place I don’t trust
A bind thrust upon me
I don’t know how to deal with it
Like a blackjack pro debating to say “hit”
Other people like the cards I’ve been dealt
But they never really asked how I felt
They assumed I would just roll with the plan
Cuz that’s the kind of person that I really am,
I’ll adjust to the pressures as best as I can…

And I did, I blew them away
By letting my actions defend what I say
So let me retrieve what I believe
Cuz I lost it during your treasure hunt for the best human breed
The piece of the puzzle you think you need.
Well I was standing right in front of you
With blood and dirt on my knees
Yelling out “Please,
Don’t you understand?”
It’s more about heart and hard work
That makes one a man.
And even after I impressed you all
I still haven’t recovered from my fall
My collapse that you caused
Cuz you thought my life could be put on pause
And you could control it like a remote
You fast forwarded through my struggles
Cuz you couldn’t handle the lump in your throat
Yet you didn’t want to rewind
And look at the good old’ times
Cuz they’re a thing of the past
And you’re looking to the future
Wondering if I can last
And I don’t have an answer,
No reply
Cuz I’m a presently thinking kind of guy
And my thoughts state that we’re both right
If we just see it in each other’s light
Then I can say that I can get to sleep at night
Without us getting into a fight
I’m just showing you how tight the tension is gonna be
The way you’ve started problems with me
But I know my passion must end
My life must continue around the bend
My future, I must tend
My past, I must mend

So I reflect
These times that I dissect
Memories I’ll never forget
Choices I’ll never regret

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