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Stand Up

What once was hope is now despair,
as the smell of evil fills the air,
leading ignorant lives came with a cost,
and now we hope our freedom isn't lost.

We are controlled and told what to think,
as we are stripped from our rights' link by link,
greed and selfishness has filled our ranks,
as the weak are crushed beneath their tanks.

NOW is the time to rise up and fight,
now is the time to do what's right,
strength in numbers is what we'll use,
we have nothing more to lose.

This country we live in was made by us,
our government now is far from just,
their hate will be sharper than a knife,
which means obtaining freedom will cause much strife.

Hope and Faith will lead the way,
into very better days.




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This article has 4 comments. Post your own!

FallenoutofgraceThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
today at 5:12 pm:
I like your flow and how you ended it with you name and everything your can always revise but i can't see what you could
 
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OpulentColorsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 2 at 5:30 pm:
Haii, :) first ill start out with the postive comments then the bad, 1. i like the topic you choose, 2. i like how you held strong in your rhyming scheme, 3. I like some of your wording (ex. stife, hope, faith) 4. I like the positive ending 5. its a pos/neg poem, it gives some life to it.   what i dont like is: 1. you could use some better wording (ex: our meek and fragile souls, grounded deep with in the soil, we're trampled as dross, and they disregard our toil.) 2. You use way to... (more »)
 
HopethroughFaithThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 2 at 6:07 pm :
thank you sooo much!!!!!!!! :D
 
HopethroughFaithThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 2 at 6:08 pm :
ill try and revise it tonight or tomorrow thanks for the help :)
 
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