Promise me you will?

February 15, 2013
Darlin I’m sorry to say
But the guns will be firing
Papa is going off to fight
He’s leaving tonight
Give him your kisses
Give him your hugs
Nearly no time for goodbyes
Tell him you love him
He may not come back
Sweetly whisper in his ear

It’s okay papa
When you get back
I’ll be waiting
I’ll be right here

Sugar don’t you shed a tear
It’ll all be okay
Hold the crying in for me
Don’t show them what you fear
Take care of your mama for me
Do you hear?

Mama dear,
Papa will be okay
He can’t die
I gave him my teddy

Oh yes sweetie
But you be ready
Hold yourself still
Hold yourself straight and steady
If he doesn’t make it out
Darlin you’ll be all right
When you hear those guns
When you see the smoke
Don’t hold your breath
You’ll be sure to choke
Your papa will write
He’ll tell you everything
That he’ll always get to see the sun
That his life has only just begun
To put up a fight
No one can hold you now
If I can’t hold it together
You’ll have to show me how

But mama,
He’ll be back
Don’t you worry
He wouldn’t leave us
Not in such a hurry
They took him away
And for our pain
They will always pay

Oh what a strong daughter you are
He always said you’d make it far
Let me warn you
When somebody dies out there
We won’t know who
So pick me up when I fall
Until we do.
The smoke is getting thicker
People are dying much quicker
The days have begun to go by slower
I can’t cry out my sorrows
My tears feel like beads of sand
I’m so dizzy
I can barely stand

It’s okay mama
I know you’ve tried
And you’re not the only one
Even I have cried
I’ve grown up these last months
You’ve rested
Our limits have been tested
You’ve grown weak
And I’ve grown strong
The smoke has grown so thick
I wonder if the house caught on fire
If we could reach a safe distance quick
You’ll be alright
Just close your eyes
He’ll be home soon breathe through your nose
Or you’ll be sure to choke
He promised he’d make it
He promised me he would

A letter came in the mail today
Darlin I’m too scared to open it
What does it say?
Is your father okay?

Where can we get some flowers?
Cause I’m sorry,
The war out there
It rages on,
But papa, well,
I’m afraid he’s gone

As I laid those flowers down
I whispered
Papa, I know you promised
And I know you tried
And I know I was supposed to be strong
But I cried
I’m fine, I promise
But it’s mama I’m worried about
I think she’s nearly all tired out
The morning light is all she looked forward to
Thought that maybe you’d come through
But she couldn’t tell if there was a sun
The smoke was strangling her

I’m sorry
But I can’t make it much further
I promise I’ll tell your father hello for you
He’ll show you somehow
That he knows you’re safe

And as I set the flowers on her bed
I move the hair from her ocean blue eyes
I kiss her cheek
And then begin to speak
Mama, I know you’re with him
The war is over
The sun finally broke through
But promise me
You’ll keep him strong
Tell him to promise
Cause I’ll be there soon enough
Promise me you will?

Join the Discussion

This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

Bmw14 said...
Feb. 19, 2013 at 7:06 pm
Loved it. Very real.
vaidaspade10 replied...
Feb. 19, 2013 at 7:25 pm
Thank you! :)
BlackbeltJames said...
Feb. 18, 2013 at 6:17 pm
Once again, a good theme and a strong description to provide those visual images, however, try not to be overly repetitive, since you do use similar words and repeat yourself a little (I mean more than what should be allowed for the effect of repetition). Also, you had a full stop at the end of one of your lines. Personally I stick to grammar with my poems, to add tempo and to make them sound better, it also allows the reader to get a specific atmosphere; it also makes it clear as to o... (more »)
vaidaspade10 replied...
Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:21 am
I'm honestly a bit confused. The repition was implied. The poem is based over a couple of years, I wanted to show people the respect that was given back then never changed, no matter the age. I do agree with one of the words/names I used, it was a bit overused. Still, I'm glad you liked it, and took the time to post something about. I will take the advice given and use it in further poetry and writing. :) Thanks.
BlackbeltJames replied...
Feb. 19, 2013 at 8:20 am
Yeah, sorry, I do explain things a bit backwards sometimes. I realised that is what you were trying to do, and you put that across well. One point though, is that if the character is growing up over the years, surely the way they speak should mature; this would help have made the element of time passing seem more significant.But yes, we can only listen to each other and try to improve ourselves, after all, advice is free.
vaidaspade10 replied...
Feb. 19, 2013 at 2:28 pm
Haha. Alright. Thanks :)
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