a game...

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Monopoly, battleship, twister. All those games weren't half as fun as this one. Because that's what I was to you. A game. Its so obvious now and if it sweetens the win I feel played.
I opened up to you, I put all my hope on you, all my faith. Turns out those chips were taken by you pretty fast because I didn't matter.
Yes. I am your friend so I know I mattered somewhat but clearly not enough. I didn't matter to you like you did to me. That's fine, you know what I don't care. You can crush me. You can break me. You can make me cry- but wait, you've already done that.
I'm not a plastic piece on the boardgame. I'm not the sorry card that's gonna bump you back to start, no because that's what you are.
I was actually beginning to feel good about myself. I could feel happy and not worry about it. I could feel like I was close to you and I didn't think the world would end. I actually wanted you. I needed you and I thought you did too.
The only bad part about that fantasy is just that. It was a fantasy.
I'm done with board games and mind games. The sad thing is I don't think I can be done with you. So go ahead and play me. I know you picked me cause I'm convenient. And hey when you're done using me go ahead and leave me right where you picked me up because you never committed to what you said so what's holding you back. Go pick some random new model and play her because it would be foolish for me to keep playing this game where you tell me I matter to some extent but your actions and even some of your words defy that.
I'm done playing with you. Forfeit. Checkmate. Speed. Go fish. I'm done.

Game over.





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