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this time three years ago This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

I was in a boat with you
and the sun was burning our legs,
bleaching us blond,
sucking us dry.
your eyes were bleeding
into the water,
your fingers tugging your
pink bathing suit back
into place,
your voice humming
the beatles into my ear,
smiling with
someone else’s teeth.

I shook you awake
the next morning
and we walked down the road
in the cold dawn,
barely talking,
hands brushing, bodies shivering.
I know now I was crying
for someone who no longer
needed me,
but remembering that
shaking silence
I am still struggling
not to need you.

in the back of my mind
we’re riding a tandem bicycle
down a hill,
and my head aches
with broken promises
broken picture frames
broken mirrors.

I won’t say broken hearts
because that would be admitting defeat.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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troubled-timesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 2 at 12:24 pm:
Thank you very much!
 
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WaffleOcean2934This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 24 at 4:11 pm:
I love the imagery and the flow of the poem!  Nice work on it.  I kind of like those last two lines in there and what the words mean.  :)
 
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Rachel_K11 said...
Jan. 23 at 6:26 pm:
Yeah, it does! :) again, It's a really great piece! I just wanted to be sure I wasn't offending you with my oponions! lol, also congrats on getting it published in the magazine, that's really awesome!
 
troubled-timesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 29 at 10:11 am :
Thank you! It's kind of ufnny, actually, because I didn't get a notification of the publishing status of this one... I didn't even realize it until I saw the "MAG" stamp here. Maybe the site's just going wonky again.
 
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Rachel_K11 said...
Jan. 22 at 9:45 pm:
This is a great poem, I really felt connected to the character's emotions. it made me relive a moment myself! the only thing I would do differently (and you honestly don't have to take my advice, I'm a teen as well haha) The ending might sound more powerful if you don't put the last two lines! I think that the reader may be able to infer that becasue the main character is visibly struggling so hard to hold onto their significant other, he/she will not admit in defeat. O... (more »)
 
troubled-timesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 23 at 12:00 pm :
  haha, thanks for the advice! constructive criticism is what i live for, doncha know.    i can't exactly edit the poem on the site now that it's posted, but i'll think about what you said and see if i can improve it :)   the context of the poem itself is actually that it's written from the point of view of someone who's already lost the person they're writing about, and doesn't want to admit that their heart was broken by him/her. (if th... (more »)
 
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