Speak the Volume

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some people have disliked me in the past,
but never like this.
i never wanted it to be this way
and you should know that.

the only thing that makes me feel like you might still like me
is how you watch me when you think i am not looking.
your eyes speak volumes that are unimaginable.
but I can read it all.

lucky you.

maybe you run from me because the hurts.
or in the slightest chance that i say something that is truthful,
you are afraid it will bite.
and you know you deserve to be bitten.
thing is, you are afraid of me.
you are afraid of the truth.

too bad i am Truth.
too bad you are Lie.
too bad there is no between.

so now you’re watching me—
watching and waiting for my move.
but I won’t give you the satisfaction.
if i walk first, you will run.
if you run first, i will know what you really think of me.

it is Truth you are afraid of,
not me.
but if I were really to be Truth, would you despise me
even more than you already do?

what i have to tell you,
you don’t want to hear.
i could have told you that even before you ran from me.
maybe if i were someone you didn’t know—
a stranger from the skies—would you listen?

if i were to tell you that your lies are hurting
not only yourself, but everyone as well, what might you say?
if i were to ask you how you became Lie,
would you speak to me?

and what if i were to be
your best friend?
would you let me tell you the truth
and really let me listen to you?

but I am neither of these.

i am Truth and you run from me,
afraid of what you may find if i get to close.
what is it that you see in me?

could it be the past flashing across my eyes?
or is it the pain etched into the lines on my forehead?
the traces of a smile on my lips, perhaps?

all you’d wished for,
but all you’re working to avoid.
that’s what you see.
this I know.


the only way out is through.
through what?

maybe if you’d let me come to you—
you come to me—i could show you.
but you won’t be able to see
until you become Truth.
and when i become Lie, you will know.

once we’ve switched roles, you can see that you were in the wrong,
and that i am now Lie.
you know what the deception smells, looks, and feels like.
and you don’t want to go back.

you find that I am the reason why
you became Truth.
and you aren’t sure whether it’s worth it
to bring me back.
you see me on this downward spiral of the lie I’ve spun. you know
it’s wrong to let me drown in my own ways.

so why didn’t you listen when I tried to bring you back?
when I tried so hard to
turn your lies to the light?
was it so worth it,
now that i am in the wrong?
or are you still in the wrong,
after all i had tried to do for you?

Who is Lie?
you.
Who is Truth?
me.

two lives apart,
we may never be the same
as long as we live.
it will never happen and we both know that now.
and i find that it wasn’t worth it to try and
bring you to Truth.
it only turned me into Lie.

i wasn’t meant to save you from your lies
and you weren’t meant to be saved.

your eyes still speak the volume.
and i hate to watch you when i think you aren’t looking.
but i know it can’t be reversed and
we will only grow further apart until
only the expanse of the sky and measure the distance between us.

and i pray to God
someone else will bring you back to Truth.
you aren’t a lost cause.
i know that well.

i just wasn’t the right person at the right time.

someday, another Truth will come along
and pull you from Lie.

they will save you.
because i could not.





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