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Forgetting How to Breathe

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Back when I was a child
I could sit down and write
I could decide to love strangers
Pretend everything was alright

Back when I was a child
I could cry with open eyes
Two feet on the ground
And know nothing of despise

Back when I first began to grow
I learned to hide my bruises
My shame and my losses
To never let them show

Back when I was shorter
And my list of woes was too
I feared the dark and feared your belt
Yet I did not fear you

Back when I thought I was an adult
Because I was raising two others
I thought I could handle everything
As I raised my younger brothers

Back when I turned twelve
I knew all of the tricks
For hiding bruises, feeding babies
An abnormally adult mx

Back when we had that weekend
After which I left
I thought life would be peachy
I looked back with no regrets

Now back to the present
Nothing is as it had seemed
A wary, lucid nightmare
Far too real to be a dream

And now I try to forget them
All the tricks you taught to me
But those are things you can never forget
It’d be like forgetting how to breathe



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