My Soul: Ginger and Other Poems

May 23, 2008
By Katie Griffith, Kresgeville, PA


You dated me knowing that my heart was in your hands
You said that you loved me and told me you meant it
Why lie to someone so much?
Do you enjoy putting people in such pain?
Is it fun for you?
I loved you and you just used me like a tissue
It wasn't right nor was it fare
I was happy
I am never happy
Feeling happy now is just a memory of something I’m not aloud to feel anymore
I hate you for what you did to me
I have no more heart to break
I’m dead inside


Feeling loved
Feeling happy
It’s not something normal for me
It was never something normal for me
I found this once guy you gave them both to me
It was awesome and what seemed almost too good to be true
Indeed was too good for me I guess
He dumped me after only 2 weeks of dating
I was heart broken, but who isn’t after they have been dumped
I guess the only difference between you and me is I cant feel emotions anymore
Since he broke it off I have felt no pain and no sorrow
I went cold on the inside and he knows it
I hope he feels horrible pain because I feel nothing


Who knew words could be the most, powerful weapon known to man?
I never did until I started listening to people when they talked
I heard what they said instead of ignored it
They rip through you like a knife in room temp. Butter
It’s hard to ignore what they say now
I mean I can when it’s nothing horrible but things like
I hate you you’re fat
Or even I wish you would just die
Those things get to you after a bit
Its kind of like they give you these word bombs
But when you go to use it they just burst in your hand
Its odd … people all over the world are constantly trying to find ways to make better and more destructive weapons
When all they need is words


Scratching and clawing at the surface like a dog in a cage
I want to get out of here
I need to be able to live like I desire to
People come to me with their problems
Have they ever thought maybe I have problems?
I don't like my home life either
Who does? I don't think anyone is completely happy with it
Maybe even the people you look up too have problems
Try talking with him or her sometime or someone close to you that you think has no fear or pain
See what you get


Jaded and dropped
Stuffed with lies and sown shut
Tortured and used like someone rag
I hate life and it hates me back


Rocking’ out to my favorite music
Jumping up and down
Head banging
Oh its so much fun
And for once I can be me
I love being me
It’s rare but when I am aloud
Oh it’s awesome
Dancing in my room to music that's too loud
What am I saying music can never be too loud?
It was a great day until they came home
-sigh- whelp it was fun while it lasted


High school= pain and misery
My parents always told me it would prepare you for the real world
Yeah ok, I was already in it
Let me see
In school people are jerks and no one likes you
Out of school people are still jerks and no one still likes you
Hmm seems the same to me!
What’s the point of going to high school or school at all for that matter its just the same crap
When you’re in school there’s drug issues and threats
Same thing happens out side of school
Its all dumb


Bullies, drugs, guns, swirlies. Jocks, and preps …
Sounds fun … NOT!
School is filled with torturous things
These are the reasons why people are so frigged up
Because we all went to school with crazy people and became nuts in the end
We were fine before school but after oh god someone better call 911
Something in school makes people become really hateful towards everyone
It’s like a bad one nightstand


I hate that word when someone says it but they don't mean it
I don't think anyone really knows how much pain love can cause
Unless they have gone through so many brake-ups and screws ups in their life
People who say they love you like your mom or dad well you know they mean it but like
A boy or a girl who comes to you and says hey can we talk
You know right there your in the hole for a lot of pain
They ask you out and like a dumb ass you say yes
And for a bit you’re happy
Then the pain sets in when they cheat or lie or dump you
Then you’re sitting there going why in the hell did I put myself through that
It wasn't worth it obviously if the person did such things to you
If the person dumps you within the first couple of weeks then they didn't really care other wise they would have given it a chance unlike some people
I know when I date someone I need to be sure that I care for this person and I’m not going to just use them as an easy way to get love
It sometimes is hard to say no but if you do care enough then you know when it is ok to tell the truth


I love you baby
Oh god how many times have I heard this
I hear it and it kind of makes me sigh inside
I know the person means well but I have heard it before
Its like when someone says they will do something and then they don't?
Like a promise almost but with your heart
Honesty and trust are big in the word love
And I don't think people really stick to it
They say I love you and that's it
They feel well I said it I’m done
That's not it
You need to mean it other wise that person you said it to
Will get hurt and you know it


Snapping rubber bands
Listening to music
These are all some things you could do when you are stressing
What do you think is the one you really do?
I know for me it was cutting and snapping
I still snap but I stopped cutting
Cutting they say isn’t healthy but the way I look at it
Making someone stop dead hard isn’t safe at all
Its like taking a bottle from a baby and not giving it back
The baby will keep crying until they get the bottle
Same thing with cutters
We will keep finding ways to hurt ourselves
Just with different tools
The thing is the person needs to feel loved in order to stop
If you can really love them then you have beat it
I hope that reading this helps you or someone you do care about


I cry and no one can hear me
That's because I cry on the inside
What about you?
Are you aloud to cry?
I do, I do every night and day
If someone asks me what’s wrong
I just say nothing I’m fine and smile
It’s all lies but hey they can’t tell


Help? What good does this do?
Can you answer me that will real confidence?
I didn't think so
I can answer my own question
It will do no good if you don't want it
If you are forced into help then you will get no were
Unless you want to get help or think you need it
Please I begged them I need help but they never let me
Trust me if you need help get it
Or you’re never going to get better


Sister: you don't even care do you?
Brother: no I don't so what
Sister: -cries- you see I told you and I showed you
Brother: so what I don't care remember
Sister: Ah! You’re not listening to me!
Sister: I said you didn't care … do this mean you do care if I die?
Brother: no I don't so what? So if you die I get all your stuff
Sister: -runs into her room and pulls the trigger-
Brother: Oh my god! She really did it
Brother: no! Why would she do this?
Brother: why?
This is an example of how tell someone you don't care isn’t a good thing to do …


To not hear your voice
Would make me so happy
I can’t stand you
You say I love you and I care about you
Yeah ok whatever!
I can’t stand you
You constantly lie to me
Brake promises
I can’t stand you
I wish you would just go rot in a hole
And never ever come back
I can’t stand you

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